Matriarch

Today, July 10, 2008 has been declared International Happiness Day. So in spite of my pensieri, or worries, I will attempt to find my happy place. I can do without the smiley face logo, but all the same I like the intention. Here are some tips from a man who has a PhD (in Joy?) and is a lecturer at Harvard.

So, today, I will attempt to follow these steps as I go about my daily routine. I will begin with #6, which for me means not just expressing gratitude to those around me, but expressing gratitude to the Creator who has blessed me with so much. In fact, if I am honest, there are so many blessings that it would be impossible to enumerate them all. Still, I will try. This will, in turn, help me to do #3. Focus on the positive rather than the negative. So for today, I will stow my worries, and magnify the things that make me happy, giving thanks for them and Insha'Allah, God willing, increasing my own and others' happiness quotient, on this my first International Happiness Day.

What question do you hate being asked?

I don't hate the question exactly, and I know that it comes with the territory, depending on where I am. Maybe it's the teacher in me, but I see it as an obligation to help to educate people for the sake of my covered sisters who don't know how/are too shy/lack the English to explain. The question is, "Why do you wear that on your head?" alternately, "Why do you dress like that?"

Bear in mind that these questions are a lot more pleasant than being called a "Towel Headed B#$%^&!" which has happened, and certainly nicer than having rocks thrown at me, as happened to some of my sisters when they were walking with their babies in strollers. I do enjoy when people tell me to go back to my country. Sorry, you poor, ignorant xenophobe. This is the land of diversity. I was born here. I am one of you. And no, not part of some fifth column.

I have been taken for a nun (both times when I was extremely pregnant - different children.) People do have a weird sense of the world don't they? Most nuns don't even wear wimples anymore, and to my knowledge none of the orders has ever worn hot pink, lavender or turquoise as I am known to do. And since the Middle Ages, there haven't been too many pregnant nuns. Certainly not in Hoboken.

Then there are all the concommitant questions like, "Aren't you hot in that?" Well, let's see... If it's 95 with 89% humidity, I pretty much guess we are all  hot today. So I launch into social studies teacher mode and explain about the Beduins in the desert who wear long flowing robes to protect against the heat, and who have virtually no skin cancer; science teacher mode to explain about the air flow that can keep your body cool or warm (remember dressing in layers for the winter?); and textile teacher mode. Cotton fibers breathe. I never wear polyester.

The answer to the question of why I dress this way is simple. I cover my head and body for the sake of modesty, because I believe the only one who has any right to see, feel, experience, or comment on my body is the man I married. Other people will not have access to the vulnerable, intimate side of me. They will only be allowed access to whatever thoughts and ideas I choose to share; therefore they can only deal with me on that basis. It is my right to be respected and I take it very seriously. Even in my twenties, I never enjoyed running the gauntlet past the construction site. I never craved that kind of validation about my sexuality or my appeal.  

The bonus is that by keeping our bodies only for each other within our marriage, (yes my husband dresses only in long pants and sleeved shirts) that aspect of our lives is even more special and precious. It is a side of ourselves that we only share with each other. Something sacred. A gift from the Almighty.

The other reason I cover and can't imagine not covering, is that it does mark me as a Muslim. As a white, mostly Irish looking, woman, I would never be taken for who I am were I not to dress Islamically. It is a facet of my life that is so important to me, I don't want to be mistaken for anything else. Even after 9/11, when some of us were afraid to go out, I wasn't afraid. I didn't want to go out with my children, for fear someone might hurt them, but I was not afraid for myself.  

I see the questions as all part of the daily life and obligation of a Muslim. If Fox news, oh they of the Fairly Unbalanced reportage, is going to go so far out of their way and spend so much money to get everybody to fear us and hate us, the least I can do is be civil and speak intelligently to people to help deprogram them from the garbage they are fed by the media. Maybe I'll only be the "one exception" to what they wrongly believe is the "rule"; but maybe, just maybe, by the grace of God, I will be the one person who causes them to think and question. I guess I'll always be a teacher.

Some of my former students, and youth group colleagues did this PSA on some of these questions. Check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U73krmw0yA 

On Saturday, Kent Couch flew his lawn chair more than 200 miles over the Oregon Desert and landed in a field in Idaho. He used a bb gun and a dart gun to control the his lift and Kool Aid for ballast.

With all the crazy, scary, sad things going on in the world and in life, I really love that someone is doing something so wonderfully wacky and creative. It just makes me smile and somehow gives me hope. I will carry this image with me throughout my day and try to fly my own metaphorical lawn chair today and in the days to come.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/05/lawnchair.balloons.ap/index.html?imw=Y&iref=mpstoryemail

This is why I love the internet. Who could have imagined when Al Gore invented it all those years ago ;) that the internet could not only connect disparate (and sometimes desperate) people but could also host book give aways! Some darkly predicted that technology would be the death of paper and glue books, but we readers have proven them wrong. Here is a book giveaway! Go to Trish's blog to check it out. You just gotta love technology...

I found this piece on one of my lists this morning and it put my thoughts into words pretty well. That and the fact that anytime I find myself wholeheartedly agreeing with a Bible quoting conservative from a Southern state, I have to jump right on it. The novelty of the thing is just too wonderful to be missed. See what you think...

 *SONNY SCOTT*
 
6/8/2008  Daily Journal
 
You see them at the grocery, or in a discount store.
 
It's a big family by today's standards - "just like stair steps," as the old folks say. Freshly scrubbed boys with neatly trimmed hair and girls with braids, in clean but unfashionable clothes follow mom through the store as she fills her no-frills shopping list.
 
There's no begging for gimcracks, no fretting, and no threats from mom.The older watch the younger, freeing mom to go peacefully about her task.
 
You are looking at some of the estimated 2 million children being home schooled in the U.S., and the number is growing. Their reputation for academic achievement has caused colleges to begin
aggressively recruiting them. Savings to the taxpayers in instructional costs are conservatively estimated at $4 billion, and some place the figure as high as $9 billion. When you consider that these families pay taxes to support public schools, but demand nothing from them, it seems quite a deal for the public.
 
Home schooling parents are usually better educated than the norm, and are more likely to attend worship services. Their motives are many and varied. Some fear contagion from the anti clericalism, coarse speech, suggestive behavior and hedonistic values that characterize secular schools. Others are concerned for their children's safety. Some want their children to be challenged beyond the minimal competencies of the public schools. Concern for a theistic world view largely permeates the movement.
 
Indications are that home schooling is working well for the kids, and the parents are pleased with their choice, but the practice is coming under increasing suspicion, and even official attack,as in California.
 
Why do we hate (or at least distrust) these people so much?
 
Methinks American middle-class people are uncomfortable around the home schooled for the same reason the alcoholic is uneasy around the teetotaler.
 
Their very existence represents a rejection of our values, and an indictment of our lifestyles. Those families are willing to render unto Caesar the things that Caesar's be, but they draw the line at their children. Those of us who have put our trust in the secular state (and effectively surrendered our children to it) recognize this act of defiance as a rejection of our values, and we reject them in return.
 
Just as the jealous Chaldeans schemed to bring the wrath of the king upon the Hebrew eunuchs, we are happy to sic the state's bureaucrats on these "trouble makers." Their implicit rejection of America's most venerated idol, Materialism, (a.k.a. "Individualism") spurs us to heat the furnace and feed the lions.
 
Young families must make the decision: Will junior go to day care and day school, or will mom stay home and raise him? The rationalizations begin. "A family just can't make it on one income." (Our parents did.) "It just costs so much to raise a child nowadays." (Yeah, if you buy brand-name clothing, pre-prepared food, join every club and activity,
and spend half the cost of a house on the daughter's wedding, it does.) And so, the decision is made. We give up the bulk of our waking hours with our children, as well as the formation of their minds, philosophies, and attitudes, to strangers. We compensate by getting a
boat to take them to the river, a van to carry them to Little League, a 2,800-square-foot house, an ATV, a zero-turn Cub Cadet, and a fund to finance a brand-name college education. And most significantly, we claim "our right" to pursue a career for our own "self-fulfillment."
 
Deep down, however, we know that our generation has eaten its seed corn.We lack the discipline and the vision to deny ourselves in the hope of something enduring and worthy for our posterity. We are tired from working extra jobs, and the looming depression threatens our 401k's. Credit cards are nearly maxed, and it costs a $100 to fuel the Suburban. Now the kid is raising hell again, demanding the latest Play Station as his price for doing his school work ... and there goes
that modest young woman in the home-made dress with her four bright-eyed, well-behaved home-schooled children in tow. Wouldn't you just love to wipe that serene look right off her smug face?
 
Is it any wonder we hate her so?
 
Permission to reprint from the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal, Tupelo, Mississippi

Okay, so he sort of lost me with the Chaldeans and the Eunichs.  Is that like a sexual reference? Did I just write an oxymoron? Not having a rural background I had to think about the seed corn statement but it works for me in a folksy, homespun sort of way. I'd use it myself somewhere but no one I know would get it.  

So just to clarify, the dress is not homemade (only because I don't know how to sew) but I am looking pretty different from the "norm" depending of course, on the neighborhood. My girls are not  braided (two out of three wear the scarf) and my kids are not that neat and clean most of the time. But yeah.

Some people do see it as a rejection of their choices. Sorry. I am not rejecting their choices Only they can do that. What I am doing is making the best choices for my family. This is the only go at it that I will have. Ethically, and morally, I must make the decisions that I believe will make my children grow up to be strong, smart, critical thinking leaders who love God and behave in a manner in accordance with our religion. I refuse to raise them to be unthinking consumers who gobble up the earth's resources and mire themselves in debt to keep up with some marketing genius's idea of what they should own, drive, buy and wear. Oh, and the fact that they actually value learning for its own sake and see reading as a viable recreational activity, that's a bonus.

Besides, I have never had a problem going against the grain.  

Those of you who read Goldilocks Realty may remember our quest for the perfect house, or even a house with flaws that we just really liked a lot. It has been a long and arduous journey involving much sitting in cars (our agent has his midlife-crisis mother-in-law-killer Beemer with a backseat no one can gracefully get into or out of), much poking around in dead people's houses (estate sales, you know) and much online research.

This past weekend we looked at 9, count 'em 9, houses including one with a garage and no driveway that was situated up the steepest incline this side of the Rockies. We didn't even bother getting out of the car for that one.

Then there was a farm on 25.4 acres all of which was covered in debris and detritus, things like crushed VW's, truck beds filled with old furniture, rotting tires, old paint cans. It was a toxic waste dump wonderland. The house was about as you'd expect it to be, filled to the rafters with books, papers, religious tracts, vitamin supplements (you'd live longer but would you want to?) rooms of stored food and one poor bird that we just knew was dying to escape it all. "Please oh, please cook with teflon and put me out of my misery," he tweeted. The whole place had an air of decay and despair. All this dubious splendor could be yours for only a half a million dollars; clean out and mental health care not included.

After looking all day Saturday, I dragged everyone out again on Sunday for a look at a house we couldn't get into the day before. It was a Victorian on almost 12 acres on a lovely country road. It had at least 2 fireplaces and bow windows on the first and second floors, the most beautiful red maple in the backyard and lots of outbuildings and old red barns for my Love Angel. I was so excited to see this one.

It occurred to me that seeing real estate is like a blind date. You have a few details, some idea what to expect to get you there in the first place. Obviously you have serious intentions, you want to settle down and find the perfect one for you. Will this be it? Will you find serendipity this time? Is this the one to whom you can make a life long commitment? Sadly, in this case, the answer was a resounding "He#$ NO!" The fireplaces (including the 5 footer in the kitchen) were all non-working; all the "improvements" over the years had only served to leech whatever charm this old dame had in the first place. The kitchen was "updated" with formica and plywood cabinets. The bathroom had lost the original clawfoot tub and it had been replaced with a "modern" tub with a stylish fiberglass surround, circa 1978. The owners seemed to feel that contact paper was a design choice. Don't even get me started on the dead mice or the medium size animal traps in the basement. As for the price tag, I can only ask like Baber from Little Mosque on the Prairie, "Are they doing the crack?"

Alas, for all our questing, not to mention waste of fossil fuels, we did see one. She is an extremely unprepossessing Cape in the woods.

She doesn't have rolling pastures or a silo, no red barn in sight (Honey is very specific about his dreams), but there may be something to work with here. Her rooms are large and airy. I've actually never seen a Cape with rooms this size. Her porch is concrete and in need of an enlargement (and wicker) Her dining room opens to a large deck but the "partridge in a pear tree" 70's orange and avocado wall paper has got to go. Even if it coordinates so nicely with the avocado dishwasher and range hood. (Please explain how you redo a kitchen and don't spend the extra 300 bucks for a new dishwasher and range hood.) The basement has a beautiful stone fireplace, even if it is accompanied by a "happy time" bar and cedar shake roof (and not even kitchy in a good way). So if we buy it we'll have our work cut out for us. But I am looking at paint samples and magazines, dreaming a little like an anxious woman waiting for that date to call back while looking at bride magazines and picking out china patterns.

I know. I don't need to be told. It is premature. We've only just gotten the disclosure agreement and the survey and it looks like there might be wetlands designation on the property. This may turn out to be another dud date. But I can dream. In the meantime, I keep the MLS as my homepage, a pad at the ready. Magazines and websites. Until we make sure this is the one, or we move on. Some day we'll find the one we are willing to spend a lifetime with. And when that happens, I want to be ready.

When I first met J, she was a nurse in my pediatrician's office. We'd chat when I brought in the kids for the check-ups and colds. She was funny and smart and we always seemed to have a lot to talk about. I looked forward to seeing her lovely face and hearing her raspy laugh. Later, her first and my second girls became friends and we saw more of each other. I loved spending time with her and her children. They were so polite, and intelligent; they were were so good. Sort of like my family if they had a really well mannered mother to raise them. You know, without the sarcasm and snarky comebacks.

When J's oldest was about three she couldn't find a good preschool and didn't know what to do. I told her to homeschool. (All it usually takes is someone to show you the ropes and let you know it is possible.) She was skeptical about being able to do it. She is a smart, bi-lingual woman with a love of children. At the worst, she could play with her daughter, read lots of books together, learn colors and numbers and then find a suitable school in a few years. Put like that, it didn't seem so daunting. She began and never looked back.

We were good friends, but the event which made us sisters happened about 7 years ago. Our girls were at Sunday school together and they were having the annual end of year recital. Children recited Qur'an, sang nasheed and the principal acted as MC with a running commentary and Islamic knowledge questions for the audience. Up until this time, J had remained a Christian. Her husband is a devout Muslim and though I am sure he prayed for her to convert, and she did study the religion, the choice had to be hers and she wasn't ready to make the commitment.

On this particular day, Brother M asked the audience a question, something about the age of the Prophet when such and such happened. J, caught up in the moment, called out the answer and ended up being correct. Her prize was a Qur'an. As she came back to her seat near me, I leaned in and said, "Now you have something to swear on when you make your shahada." I will never know what prompted me to say that to her. I had made sure never to push the issue and even now, I said it in a joking way. To my utter surprise, J replied, "You are right. I will."

The next few moments remain a blur. I alerted Brother M and he called J to the stage and led her through the Shahada. "I declare there is no God but Allah and I declare that Mohammed is His messenger." Her husband, who had been taping what he thought was simply his daughter's recital was dumbfounded as he caught his fondest dream on tape. I still get chills as I remember that day. While her converting to Islam enriched J's life, it also deepened our relationship. She was now not only my dear friend but my sister in Islam.  

About a year ago, J said her husband had a chance to work in Saudi for a two year contract. I was sad to think of them leaving, but it was hardly an opportunity to be missed. As Muslims, we agreed, the chance to be able to make Hajj or even Umrah more often was wonderful. The children, A, 12, Ah, her son, 7, and Little Bit, my love angel, 4, could learn Arabic and get exposure to another culture. It was a win- win. And even if certain aspects of life there were difficult, (censorship, and the HEAT come to mind) it was only for a limited amount of time.

After many snafus with paperwork, on the part of the HR department of her husband's company, and after a separation of weeks as he had to go iron everything out in situ, the family finally left on Saturday. All their stuff is in storage, their apartment leased, their school books in the suitcases. We said our teary good byes a month ago, so we did only the abbreviated farewells on the phone on Saturday morning. No sense getting all maudlin and soggy. We tried to be strong and stoic. It's not as if we won't speak. They were able to keep their local phone number (gotta love technology!) and there is always email. God willing, the time will go smoothly for all of us. 

I look forward to hearing about their adventures and I am so happy for them to have this grand adventure. But I will miss them all so much. By the time they return, Little Bit will be reading on her own and won't need to sit in Auntie's lap for story. Her son will be a big man, and will remind me how much my Y has grown, and her big girl, A will be a young lady. I pray for their safety and their happiness and I look forward to when they return.

I comfort myself by remembering that the world really has gotten smaller in a lot of ways and they'll be back before I know it. 

So I had nothing better to do one day and decided to google people I knew thirty or forty years ago. One thing became abundantly clear really quickly. Most of my friends had the commonest names on the planet. Not a Rothschild in the bunch. Outside of my old ballroom dance partner (in high school we were required to take ballroom dance with the headmaster's wife whom he'd met on a cruise. She had worked the ship and earned herself a cushy retirement with him. But I digress.) Outside of the dance partner, a wicked smart guy who you knew would end up making lots of money and being SUCCESSFUL, (vice president of Yahoo - yes that Yahoo) not many of my old peeps were easy to find.

I finally worked my way up to college and looked up the RA who had welcomed me and Laurie Stern to Freshman Orientation. He was way cool. Of course, he was an upper classman. But he looked like representations of Jesus with his leather sandals, long blonde hair and beard. He wore patchouli and had actually built a loft in his dorm room. I mean how cool is that!? He was actually a carpenter! He could BUILD stuff. He had a way cool girlfriend too who drove a red 1962 T-Bird.  He was a man who always seemed to walk the walk. He was a vegetarian, he believed in ecology and told me about Garden of Eden by Jethro Kloss in a chance encounter on a train to the City. In short he was as cool as he looked. He radiated a calm, soothing energy. He just seemed so easy. He drew people to him.

He and I never became close friends although we had some mutual friends. After college I kept track of him for a while. He worked at non-profits, did the Ren Faire. You know, cool stuff. He married and had a few children. 

So having run out of names (Day, McCall, Parker, Lam and Vaccaro) I decided to google him. I found him at his institute. It's called Pompanuck Farm Institute and they sponsor eco retreats, tai chi, yoga, intergenerational living. He grew up to embrace all the promise of his youth. That was the best part for me. I always hope friends and acquaintances will have been successful on their journeys. So finding him in this perfect milieu was a gift. He married a lovely woman who is an artist, educator and baker and obviously shares his passion for making the world better.

I haven't contacted him. After all, what would I say? "Oh I was in the Freshman class at Hofstra back with Wilma Flintstone." He might not even remember me. It's enough for me to see where he is and know he's doing well and good. And if you are ever in Upstate New York, and feel the need to sleep in a yurt or study Tai Chi with a master, check it out. I'm sure Scott and Lisa will welcome you with open arms. 

My friend Becca had this on her blog, so I decided to play while I work on some other things. Simply copy and bold the things you have done.

1. Touched an iceberg

2. Slept under the stars

3. Been a part of a hockey fight

4. Changed a baby’s diaper

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Swam with wild dolphins

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a boa constrictor

10. Said “I love you” and meant it

11. Bungee jumped (not in this life!)

12. Visited Paris, Florence, Kyoto, Amsterdam, San Francisco, Quebec 

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise

15. Seen the Northern Lights

16. Gone to a huge sports game

17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty

(this is kind of huge thing to have on someone’s list because they don’t let you do this anymore)

18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Bet on a winning horse

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Taken an ice cold bath

28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Ridden a roller coaster (the Cyclone at Coney Island) 

31. Hit a home run

32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

33. Adopted an accent for fun

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment

36. Loved your job 90% of the time

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Had tea at Trader Vic's

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach

41. Gone sky diving

42. Visited Ireland

43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited India

45. Bench-pressed your own weight

46. Milked a cow

47. Alphabetized your personal files

48. Ever worn a superhero costume

49. Sung karaoke

50. Lounged around in bed all day

51. Gone to the Pyramids at night

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Done something you should regret, but don’t

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Been in a movie

60. Gone without food for 3 days

61. Made cookies from scratch

62. Won first prize in a costume contest

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Been in a combat zone

65. Spoken more than one language fluently (apparently Pig Latin doesn't ount-cay)

66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone

67. Bounced a check

68. Read - and understood - your credit report

69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy

70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did

71. Called or written your Congress person

72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

73. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

74. Helped an animal give birth

75. Been fired or laid off from a job

76. Won money

77. Broken a bone

78. Ridden a motorcycle

79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph

80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

81. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing

82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

83. Eaten sushi

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read The Bible cover to cover (No, but I have read Qur'an c to c many times)

86. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about

87. Gotten someone fired for their actions

88. Gone back to school

89. Changed your name

90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands

91. Eaten fried green tomatoes

92. Read The Iliad

93. Taught yourself an art from scratch

94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt

96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

97. Been elected to public office

98. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream

99. Had to put someone you love into hospice care (I had him with me but hospice came in to help and they were wonderful.) 

100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you

101. Had a booth at a street fair

102. Dyed your hair

103. Been a DJ

104. Rocked a baby to sleep

105. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all fours

106. Raked your carpet

107. Brought out the best in people

108. Brought out the worst in people

109. Worn a mood ring (it was the 70's!) 

110. Ridden a horse

111. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap

112. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe

113. Buried a child

114. Gone to a Broadway (or equivalent to your country) play

115. Been inside the pyramids

116. Shot a basketball into a basket

117. Danced at a disco

118. Played in a band

119. Shot a bird

120. Gone to an arboretum

121. Tutored someone

122. Ridden a train

123. Brought an old fad back into style

124. Eaten caviar (the best was at Petrossian in NYC years ago.) 

125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn’t need

126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant

127. Published a book

128. Pieced a quilt

129. Lived in an historic place

130. Acted in a play or performed on a stage

131. Asked for a raise

132. Made a hole-in-one (putt-putt)

133. Gone deep sea fishing

134. Gone roller skating

135. Run a marathon

136. Learned to surf

137. Invented something

138. Flown first class

139. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite

140. Flown in a helicopter

141. Visited Africa

142. Sang a solo

143. Gone spelunking

144. Learned how to take a compliment

145. Written a love-story

146. Seen Michelangelo’s David

147. Had your portrait painted

148. Written a fan letter (actually an email to an author) 

149. Spent the night in something haunted

150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane

151. Ran away

152. Learned to juggle

153. Been a boss

154. Sat on a jury

155. Lied about your weight (but not my age!) 

156. Gone on a diet

157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget

158. Written a poem

159. Carried your lunch in a lunchbox

160. Gotten food poisoning

161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission

162. Hiked the Grand Canyon

163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks

164. Gone to the opera

165. Gotten a letter from someone famous

166. Worn knickers

167. Ridden in a limousine

168. Attended the Olympics

169. Can hula or waltz

170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books

171. Been stuck in an elevator

172. Had a revelatory dream

173. Thought you might crash in an airplane

174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert

175. Saved someone’s life

176. Eaten raw whale

177. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint

178. Laughed till your side hurt

179. Straddled the equator

180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing

181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival

182. Sent a message in a bottle

183. Spent the night in a hostel

184. Been a cashier

185. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

186. Joined a union

187. Donated blood or plasma

188. Built a campfire

189. Kept a blog

190. Had hives

191. Worn custom made shoes or boots

192. Made a PowerPoint presentation

193. Taken a Hunter’s Safety Course

194. Served at a soup kitchen

195. Conquered the Rubik’s cube

196. Know CPR

197. Ridden in or owned a convertible

198. Found a long lost friend

199. Helped solve a crime

200. Responded to a Neighbor Jane Payne newsletter