Tech-NO

Okay, I admit it. I now understand why my parents couldn't program their VCR back in 1984. I am ashamed to say it, but I really don't feel I have the brain cells to learn anything else. It's scary and makes me feel old. But everything is so danged new fangled. Buttons and icons to push, plugs to insert in odd places. I know how to turn on the laptop. I know how to sign on to ethernet at the library,I know how to send and receive texts on my phone, but after that, I am lost. In fact, if I am honest with myself, I will say that if I didn't have a teenager, I'd barely be able to put on the lights. (The old glass fuses would pose no problem, however.) See what I mean?

I don't want to give in and admit I'm a Luddite because I'm really not. Lazy, ignorant, untrained, yes to all that, but I do appreciate technology. It's just so much easier to have my kid load up my ipod than to learn how to do it myself.

Yes, it all comes back to haunt me. I laughed, LAUGHED at my poor parents as their VCR blinked 12:00,12:00, 12:00. I never thought there would be a time when technology would get away from me. Even though I was the girl who dropped out of the computer class in college because I couldn't possibly see any real life application for the darn things. Okay, so I was in beautiful Boston, missed the first class because of out of town friends and the lure of Faneuil Hall. It took me one hour and a very geeky computer lab guy complete with a pocket pencil protector, to help me even sign on. By then, I knew this class was not for me. Computer guy has probably retired to his own private island by now. And I am still trying to sign on to the technology thing. Sad, really.

But the most jarring realization is that my brain is no longer as supple as it was. (Get in line, Buddy. NOTHING is as supple as it once was.) I don't learn as quickly or as avidly as I once did. Hell, I don't even remember what I used to know. I looked at Mimi's algebra problem and drew a complete and utter blank. With equal amounts of chagrin and real annoyance, I'm thinking, "But I taught this to Sadie not that long ago and could still do it." Then, "I taught it once, can't you all just share the knowlege, dammit?" I have even taken to having Sadie proofread things I write because I can't remember simple grammar. And grammar was my thing, one of the only I was truly good at. Ahem, at which I was truly good. See what I mean?

Aches and pains mysteriously appearing and disappearing at will, loss of brain function. The end is near. Or not. Perhaps I will just sit here quietly until the fog lifts. It's a good thing my mother is not here to say,"I told you so." Maybe I'll just have the kids put a dvd on for me to watch.